Kristen's Journal

Dear Drew:
It's been a touch over two months, and not a day goes by that I don't think about you. Whether it's just a passing moment, or it's prompted by something. A song, a smell, a bad joke, a random office topic.

When I think about it, you have shaped so much of my life. I doubt whether I would have traveled without writing your particular character. I'd doubt I'd be able to write, which has lead to so, so, so much more in my life than just what goes on in the gaming communities. I've met some amazing people because of you. I'm not sure whether you know now, but I'm sure you have some kind of sense that you've touched many more lives than you ever thought.

I remember seeing you for the first and last time at the Hall of Fame ceremony in 08. You walked under the stands where I was sitting, and there was a lot of murmuring around... "is that Test? That's Test! Hey Test!". You kept your head down, but there was a smile on your face, like you were surprised you were still recognized. Of course you were. Plus, you didn't really blend in with that massive white suit you were wearing.

I opened up some of your logs tonight, prompted by Randy's post, and thought I was ready to start reading them again. I'm not. It still hurts, and it's so selfish of me to think that way. You did so much for me. And I still can't believe you're gone. It still pulls at my heart, sometimes I don't even physically notice, but I feel the sadness and know it's because of you. You influenced so much.

It's been two months, and I miss you. Every single day.

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don't you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don't mind
if it's me you need to turn to
we'll get by,
it's the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget
the way i feel right now

in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away but these small hours
these small hours, still remain,
still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain

Current Mood: discontent